be a janet in a world of jermaines

If you’re anything like me, Janet Jackson changed your life. Maybe it’s “The Velvet Rope” album or the timeliness of “Control” but either way, if it wasn’t for her, I’m confident I’d be a different person.   You can imagine when I saw that she was releasing a documentary for the first time ever in my 30-something-year old life, I had to put that shit on DVR. I needed to make sure I’d be able to focus on hearing more about how Jackson became one of our most prized cultural icons. 

WAIT A MINUTE

So, there’s nothing new here about her connection to her legendary brother Michael or her resiliency when it came to releasing her own music despite what others wanted her to do. The shock value comes from one part of this documentary and one part only. 

The fact that music producer Jermaine Dupri admittedly fumbled the bag and cheated.

I’ll let you take a minute and re-read that line. Go ahead, zoom in if you need to, we’ll wait. 

This brought up a few issues for me. Primarily the issue that I’ve been calling out and raising hell about to my friends, straight, gay, non-binary for years. How is it that someone like Dupri, had the audacity to cheat on someone like Jackson because “he couldn’t control his urges” based on his celebrity status? That’s what I call bullshit. It raises larger questions that we often think about. Is it possible for people to stay happy in monogamous relationships regardless of who they are? How do people define success in relationships? What is happiness? Have we been raised in what the late author Bell Hooks would call, “a lovelessness that we can’t find our way out of?” 

For full transparency, I am a LOVER. I disagree with the majority of people who assume that lovelessness is the default. The challenge arises when I often hear stories of less physically attractive men, not only scoring 10’s but scoring 10’s and cheating on 10’s with 5’s, while the 10 continues to try to work it out. This math simply doesn’t add up.

Why is it that women are expected to control their sexual desires and urges when they are in a monogamous relationship with someone, whereas men are given consent to straddle the line of infidelity based on their natural desires? 

Let’s face it, Jackson is not only an icon for her music and dancing skills but she is also revered for her ability to exude sensuality and sexual prowess. From her soft and gently erotic voice in fan-favorite “Anytime, Anyplace,” to that long-awaited kiss with Tupac in the movie “Poetic Justice,” her ability to tantalize an audience is profound. 

I’ll forever wonder what could’ve gotten into Dupri when he decided to give in to his poor judgment and cheat on Jackson. Even being given the full attention and love from one of the most desired women, he still could not reciprocate loyalty. 

The kicker of it all – they’re STILL FRIENDS. 

Back to your regularly scheduled programming. 

Be a Janet in a world of Jermaines. Your existence is precious.

Janet – Control by Painkiller Cam
(Cam Parker)