Radical Sef-Care Practices To Take Into 2025

Can you believe that we are on the cusp of 2025?  This year went by with a flash and when I think of 2025 one word that comes to mind is radical, and as Black people what is more radical than prioritizing our well-being and self-care.  Now some people may say that self-care is not radical, it is the bare minimum.  But I would go on to say that self-care is inherently radical for the Black community as descendants of generations and generations of people who were adultified, dehumanized, and viewed as property. Black people caring for themselves was not only unexpected, but pushing down and numbing feels likely kept many people alive because acknowledging the pain and anguish with no end in sight was likely debilitating.  Thankfully, we are no longer in that space so when I think of radical self care for the Black community, here are the first things that come to my mind:

Review Boundaries

Many people get boundaries wrong, and this is the first place to start.  Boundaries guide your behavior while rules attempt to dictate someone else’s life.  If I said “you are not allowed to scream at me” that is a rule.  However, if you say “I do not stay in places where I feel unsafe” that is a boundary, and if someone yells at you, which can make you feel unsafe, you decide to leave, that is you adhering to your boundary.  Now, don’t get me wrong, rules can have their place in relationships as well.  But the reason why it’s so important to differentiate because you can only control your own behavior.  Rules attempt to dictate someone else’s behavior.  They can decide whether they will abide by the rule.  Start with addressing whether you are advocating for boundaries or rules and after that, think about what has contributed to boundary violations.  The only person that can violate your boundaries is you, and if you are embarking on radical self care you need to process and address the things that have caused YOU to violate your boundaries.  Some questions I typically start with my patients include:

• What was the boundary I violated and why was it important to me?
  • This is important because it can help with the clarity that you held with the boundary in the first place while also reminding you of its necessity.
• What was I feeling before I violated the boundary and what did I feel after?
  • This one will help you identify the trigger or cause for the violation in the first place. Did you feel guilt, fear, fatigued, etc, knowing this can help you know what to look for in the future.
• What were my thoughts before and after violating the boundary?
  • Many times the thoughts before can help you realize if there was external pressure and by addressing that you can see how to move forward.
• Was my boundary clearly communicated to myself and others
  • This is more of a practical question which has its place to let you know how to workshop in the future
• How will I move forward with this boundary?
  • Think about what strategies you want to use in the future and if you want to adjust the boundary going forward.

Notice that these are all questions about how YOU will move forward because once again, a boundary guides your behavior.  And there is power in that, in understanding that you are fostering autonomy and have control over your actions.

Be More Specific With Your Self Care

Think of self-care like a category.  It is truly an umbrella term for things that contribute to you making the conscious act of caring for yourself.  This includes physical, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, while acknowledging that it is intentional, it is an act, it is a verb.  Start with acknowledging that self-care and selfish are not synonyms.  Self care is there to replenish you and there will be some people who see that as selfish because they may have benefited from you placing their needs before your own.  But take the time to process where your line is, self-care requires a balance whereas selfishness is excessive. There will be times where your self-care will be selfish, but that is once again at your discretion. If you are at a place where you need to dig yourself out of a hole, you need to focus on your shovel — because handing someone else your digging device won’t help anyone.

Next, break down yourself care into categories to make it more approachable and digestible.  Some examples of self care that aren’t often thought of are:

• Social self-care will focus on what you need to maintain and nurture healthy relationships which can include spending time together or even setting a time where you no longer take phone calls so that you can be present for yourself instead of others.
• Emotional self-care would include practices that allow you to express and process your emotions like therapy, journaling, or coping skills. Always remember that therapy is not the only path to healing, but whatever path you take will be paved with community.  Don’t assume therapy is all the emotional self care you need.  Your mental health is a fingerprint, as is your self care.
• Environmental self-care is about how you organize and care you’re your space to create an environment that is supportive to your needs and conducive to what you need as a calming space.

See where you need to focus for the time being and add things as needed.  When incorporating new routines or processes I typically tell my patients that you must give them time to sink in before adding anything else.  So I would try something new for two to three weeks before adding anything else.

These Things Can Start At Anytime

Finally, one of the most radical ways that you can do is realize that your finish line is just that, YOURS.  You set it, so you can decide when it needs to be adjusted.  I know that there can be this push to set new goals at the beginning of the year but also realize that new goals and prioritizing your well being can start on Monday morning AND it can also happen on Thursday at 3pm.