Op- Ed: Where’s The Problem With DVSN’s New Song “If I Get Caught?”
July 27, 2022
According to Urban Dictionary, black men don’t cheat, “the only thing they may do is slip up from time to time”. Slip up – a blunder, a mistake. According to R&B duo, dvsn’s latest single “If I Get Caught Cheating”, the same sentiment is reflected in phrases like “One little fuck” and “one mistake” as sung in the chorus. I’m not interested in debating whether the song is any good, however I personally enjoy the record, albeit for the wrong reasons.
The single opens with a sampled Jay Z saying “Just fuckin’ them girls, I was gon’—”. Taken from his “woe is me, I cheated, and she left me” record “Song Cry”, Jay-Z believed the track to be the most toxic song he could ever make. Once he’d heard dvsn’s take on his classic record, his stance on the matter shifted with him saying “I stand corrected.” Although, dvsn says, “it’s not toxic it’s honest.” To that, I say, perhaps.
The single raises some valid points, for instance. Women do like men that other women like. However, the reasons are multifaceted. Generally speaking, a man whom other women like is the safer option in comparison to men that women don’t like. Men who women give warnings about will land you in a heartbreak hotel or a grave in severe cases. Another valid point dvsn raises is the issue of going through someone’s phone. Even in instances where there has been no wrongdoing on the phone owner’s part, going through a partner’s phone with the intent to get answers to legitimize an investigation is dangerous business. Remember, a beautiful man is a beautiful man whether or not there’s a significant other to claim him. Single or spoken for, beauty inspires praise, so there may be a heart eye, tongue, and/or water emoji in the comment section or DM of any man’s social media. There’s no stopping that. dvsn was right to say that it isn’t fair to trip over this.
However, that’s about as far as his “fair points” go, in my opinion. Waxing lyrical, dvsn and what sounds like a chorus of “faithful black men”, put forward that a little bit of cheating isn’t worth ending a relationship. More so, cheating isn’t indicative of the cheater’s sentiments towards their partner. “I ain’t perfect // Baby girl, I’m worth it,” he croons.
At this point, I’m not interested in understanding why men cheat. Much like most women, I’ve been on the receiving end of cheating men as well as a spectator of their shenanigans. What has piqued my interest is why men have become brazen over the years. Where is their self respect? Nina Simone did not croon “The other woman is perfect where her rival fails” just for men to be so comfortable getting caught cheating. Absolutely not.
The Black woman in me demands to know the whereabouts of their pride. Is this who the girls are mistress’ing for?
I appreciate open relationships, truly. However, I know who can and cannot participate in them. It seems to me like men want to be with multiple partners, but want to do so with monogamous partners. Alternatively, the men who think they can handle open relationships end up finding that they’re egos can’t take the idea of their partner being pleasured by someone else. The basis of the issue is cheating. Cheating requires a broken commitment to refrain from relations, emotional, physical, or virtual, outside of a specific person. Now, it would be easier if the commitment was never made, or perhaps at some point were amended so that there’s no need to cheat. I find it odd that men brazenly disclose that they might cheat in public spaces, but don’t have the gall to negotiate their relationships with the zeal they display when discussing cheating. dvsn was telling his truth and clearly narrating the truth of many others. The song is a bop if you ask me. The prevailing sentiment of the song, however, has elicited a deep negro sigh and conjured an ancestrally delivered question, “what about isidima (dignity)?”.
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