‘avengers infinity war’ life lessons: this mom & son had a deep conversation on greed, ego after watching

By S. Rae Peoples*, AFROPUNK contributor

SPOILER ALERT: POINTS OF THE AVENGERS MOVIES ARE DISCUSSED IN THIS ARTICLE

This past Saturday was like any other Saturday that both my son, JJ, and I look forward to. Whenever possible, I reserve this day for brunch and a matinee with my 13 year old. Surprisingly, my son looks forward to this time with me as well- and I low key (not really low key) savor these moments because we all know that it’s rare that a teenager willingly and happily elects to chill with their mama on any given day. Since JJ was 7 years old, we’ve made watching Marvel movies together and discussing the lessons for life and social movements that emerge out of these movies, a deep practice. It’s our jam, and I love it. So naturally, JJ and I were literally counting down the days in excitement for our Saturday rendezvous with Avengers: Infinity War.

While we won’t go into too much of the details of the movie here, I will say that it took us quite some time to get out of our woeful state of mind before we could start our customary dialogue on emergent and pertinent themes. Like, for real. It took us a minute to work through our feels…but I guess that’s neither here, nor there. What follows is a small, but candid window into what our conversation at home shaped into.

JJ: This movie was amazing! There was crying, laughing, and many more emotions. I don’t think I’m being too dramatic when I say that this film actually ended up being the most depressing movies I\’ve seen thus far. After my despair, my mom and I thought about, and discussed 3 key lessons in the movie that stand out for us.

Lesson 1: In Trying To Have It All, You May Lose It All

As Thanos moves towards what he believes is success, he starts losing things that he loves. In making- not just the world, but the whole universe a so-called better place, he lost the the one thing he loved. At one point near the end of the movie, when he basically says he accomplished his goal, Thanos is asked, “at what cost?” At this question, with tears in his eyes, Thanos simply states, “everything.” It cost Thanos everything to gain (at least in his mind) everything. In reality, I think many people go through this, and Thanos’s response stuck with me and my mom. This point in the movie was a very emotional reminder for us that the things we want, may actually end up taking away the things we already have and love. Whenever I make choices, my Mom always talks to me about the ripple effect of my actions; that while I’ll always be able to act in choice, those choices will always come with consequences. What we always have to ask ourselves is if our choices will be worth the outcomes- both the outcomes that’ll we see right away, and even the outcomes that we may not even be aware of in the present.

Lesson 2: Egos & Disorganized Plans. Check ‘Em At The Door.

S. Rae: While you may be able to win some battles with egos and disorganization, it cannot sustain the stamina and impact you need to win a war. And isn’t that just what our modern social movement feels like? A damn war. Like, on all counts, I think it’s safe to say that this is not a drill, not a game, we are literally in a fight for our lives and freedom for all of us- even those of us who aren’t even aware that they aren’t liberated.

Throughout the movie, it’s apparent that these heroes are ego trippin’ hard- some more than others, but they trippin’. Their egos had each of them thinking that their own plan of taking down Thanos was the right plan. Thor had his idea, Iron Man- of course, just knew his plan was divinely ordered, Dr. Strange had his own plan…cause you know, he can see into the future and whatnot. Gamora had her own thoughts and plan of action. And the list of egos and plans go on and on. If you think of the Avengers as one body of force against injustice, then each of these heroes were different parts of this body, and each part was doing its own thing- just all over the place. Lack of communication only exacerbated their shotty coordinated efforts to fight Thanos- who, really is the embodiment of evil.

There was no “coming of the minds” at any point where the Avengers actually came together to discuss what exactly they were up against. Yes, they had sidebar conversations with each other here and there- but that’s about it. Like really??? Y’all didn’t wanna talk about this and discuss the stones Thanos had in his possession to further wield injustice, carnage and evil?? And to add insult to injury here, once in Wakanda and on the field- these folks were coming up with plans whilst on the battlefield! And because of the egos and disorganization- Wakanda, T’Challa, and Shuri fall! I mean, yes- it’s terrible that now the universe is under siege…but WAKANDA y’all!!!!…jesuschristsuperstar.

Oddly enough, it’s intriguing the extent to which art is imitating our reality at this exact moment in history. Most of us will certainly agree that we’ve got a Thanos on our hands. We are living in a situation where one individual, embodying capitalism, imperialism, racism, sexism, and patriarchy, has several tools (stones, if you will) at their disposal to promulgate the oppressive and unjust systems we are all suffering under. We can see the results of the use of these tools all around us: steady erosion of our ecosystem. Steady and increased policing and deaths of Black lives at the hands of law enforcement that go unchecked. Complete disregard and disrespect towards First Nations. Immigrant families and communities being torn apart. An ever-disparaging gap between the rich and the poor: the housed and the homeless. Gun violence and white men inflicting terror- right here. Within our borders. So yeah, we’ve definitely got a Thanos on our hands. But it’s not just that one body that were dealing with. No. What we’re actually dealing with is America’s long tradition of oppressive structures and systems. That’s the battle before us- liberating ourselves not from Thanos, but from the very systems and structures that is able to create and sustain someone like Thanos.

As in the movie, there are many ways that we could go about taking down Thanos. All of them valid and on point. I think about all the different movements and hashtags, and organizations we have in our modern fight for freedom. And they’re all great, they’re all amazing, they’re all doing deeply meaningful work. However, the extent to which we’ll be able to liberate ourselves, our communities, and our planet will depend on our ability to check our egos and “our way or the highway” strategies at the door, and engage in the kinds of conversations, alignment and coalitions that will result in a plan of attack that is spacious enough to hold a complete and collective vision for freedom.

Lesson 3: We All Gotta Take the “L” At Some Point

JJ: We came into this movie thinking the Avengers would prevail. Why? Because they’re the good guys, and that’s just what they do. In every movie- they win. But this movie actually serves us with a huge- and rather deflating slice of reality. I’m not even going to lie- there’s no way to sugarcoat the fact that I was legit balling my eyes out for a good 5-10 minutes. Staring blankly at the screen after the credits rolled, the last scene gone, and the music stopped, I came to the realization that the Avengers were not always going to win. I mean, there had to be an end to all those W’s they had at some point, right? Also, there is one thing they achieved here: when they lost, they lost together. They rose and fell as a unit- it made me think of the principle, “All of us, or none of us.” And that matters. What’s even more important is that even though they lost, they’re actually set up for a great comeback; they just have to learn from the lessons their loss gives them. So, I mean. We’ll see how that works out for them.

S. Rae: Sometimes, even those on the right side of history are going to have to take the “L,” if only for a season. In my role as both JJ’s mom and as an agent of social change, my responsibility is simply to raise my son and live my life in a way that actually embraces losing. Taking a loss is okay: you learn, you grow, you level up your state of consciousness, and you move on a better person than you were before your loss. That’s how all this in life and social justice movements work: the pendulum will always swing back and forth between wins and loses; between justice and tomfuckery (JJ: Mom, I don’t think you can use that word)…ok…injustice. The key to remember is whichever direction the pendulum swings- the opportunity is always there for us to raise our awareness and become a better version of ourselves.

The ultimate lesson we received that applies to both our personal lives, and our commitment to freedom and justice is that the struggle for freedom is both real, and (as we were both reminded of a book by Angela Davis) freedom is a constant struggle.

Well played Marvel Studios, well played…we’ll see you in 2019.

*JJ currently attends Bret Harte Middle School, and enjoys life, love and good vibes in Oakland, CA.
S. Rae is the proud mother of JJ, and is rooted in motherhood and community in Oakland, CA.