Sex & Gender

dating: if he doesn’t accept your natural hair, run as fast as you can

October 24, 2016

In the early stages of dating, you are always trying to impress that guy and appeal to him. You kind of aim to be his ideal woman. We can say, “no we don’t”, but we all do this. If he plays Pokemon Go, then you play Pokemon Go. If he likes Rock music, then you try out Rock music. It is needless to say you want to one day be his future.

But, there is always one thing that I will not suffice in a relationship. That is my hair. Yes, I am a proud naturalista and have embraced my curly fro in every aspect. It took me awhile to allow myself to see how sexy my curls are. So, I will not let any man knock it.

I dated guys in the past who would say, “You would look hotter with straight hair.” This statement alone used to aggravate my very soul. I mean you want all of me. You desire my soul, my love, my heart, but not my hair?!

By Autumn Mae, AFROPUNK contributor

Pantene Pro-V commercial-worthy locks have long since been the standard of female beauty in the Western world, and a tell-tale symptoms of White Supremacy. The pressures for women (particularly women of color) to conform to this standard, by way of forced assimilation and, sometimes, internalized racism, plays a devastating role in how women see and value themselves.

Since the huge response of natural hair began to hit the streets, we see more woman embrace it. Which also allowed more guys to fall in love with women and their curls. There are now a ton of couples pages dedicated to men and their woman’s curls. This is encouraging in a sense. Woman are no longer concerned about someone’s dim idea of beauty, Myself included.

I no longer allowed Myself to date guys who had those 1960 ideas of beauty. I began to date men who embraced my natural hair and it made me feel really great about myself. It is reassuring to be around someone who doesn’t push negative ideas of beauty to you. As a curly queen, we are made to be different. We were made to be vicious and strong woman. My current beau embraces my fro in every way and loves how it makes me unique. I could never go back to dating anything less.

So ladies, if he can’t love what makes you stand out in this world. Then you are not the queen for this shallow king.