feature: “native american council offers amnesty to 240 million undocumented whites”

February 4, 2015

Despite the large number of Europeans inhabiting the United States, most scholars regard their citizenship – and their colonization of the indigenous land from the 16th century – as illegal. Now City World News reports that Native American leaders met up last week in New Mexico and have now decided to “extend a road to citizenship for those without criminal records or contagious diseases.” Read more on their terms, below.


By Alexander Aplerku, AFROPUNK Contributor
“We will give Europeans the option to apply for Native Citizenship,” explained Chief Sauti of the Nez Perce tribe. “To obtain legal status, each applicant must write a heartfelt apology for their ancestors’ crimes, pay an application fee of $5,000, and, if currently on any ancestral Native land, they must relinquish that land to NANC or pay the market price, which we decide.
“Any illegal European who has a criminal record of any sort, minus traffic and parking tickets, will be deported back to their native land.”
“They all need to be deported back to Europe,” John Dakota from True Americans said. “They came here illegally and took a giant crap on our land. They brought disease and alcoholism, stole everything we have because they were too lazy to improve and develop their own countries.”
* Pictured is Sitting Bull, who led his people as a tribal chief during years of resistance to United States government policies.