punks gotta eat: if bands were food, what food would they be ladies edition

December 4, 2012

Sure, punks gotta eat and LADIES is punks too! Some of the most boss eaters we know are chicks and some of the most rocking bands are of the chica variety, so let’s do it. Check out this week’s round up lady bands good enough to eat. NOMS!


By: Henny X Harmon

Kimya Dawson = Honey Granola

After watching the movie Juno back in the day and listening to all the odd songs it was one of those things that you just have to download immediately. Kimya Dawson’s speedy lyrics and guitar playing is so wholesome and light hearted, yet surprisingly hearty. Granola is everything and it’s great for you! Not just good– great! It’s like a super-food and shiz. One of the best snacks that fuels your whole day, just like a fistful of Kimya.

Hottub = Rainbow pancakes

Hottub is a band with a variety of flavors topped with amazingly sweet maple synth-syrup. Some people may be put off by the stacks-on-stacks of colorfulness, once you take that first bite you just can’t help but finish em!! When I first saw Hottub I thought damn these chicas are colorful! But then I fell into the music and everything just came together. They’re a band that I would want to be friends with and like, go shopping cart racing in Trader Joes. Hottubs and rainbow pancakes fit like a hand in glove, like kool aid and sugar!

iam(isis) = Cake Man Raven’s red velvet cake

OH HELL YEA! I mean have you had the Red Velvet from Cake Man Raven??? If you have you would understand– because it’s not just ANY red velvet its THE CAKE MAN, and no one does it like him. iam(isis) is a collective of funky individuals that come together to make funky-ass-spoken-soul music. All of these things you may like, but when the right combo of people do it the best, you tell your friends about it! Cake Man Ravens Cakes are HUGE and that’s exactly how this band’s sound is! Bigger than life, in your face (but not too much, it’s still good enough for grandma),sweet and all-in-all delicious and filling.

Irma = Warm Blueberry Bread Pudding With Chilled Crème Anglaise

You never know what you want until you see it. Irma’s voice is one that you don’t necessarily go searching for, but it’s one that finds you. Her voice, her look and her accent make the package complete. Slightly unfamiliar but so tempting, even if you’ve never tried it before, all of a sudden you’re craving it. While dancing in my room blasting my Irma playlist in a silk robe, Egyptian cotton pajama pants and furry bunny slippers The sweet tangy, soft and crewy combo hit me..and I blame Irma.

Beyonce = Stale Jelly Donut

Ok guys..It’s not what she says.. it’s how she portrays herself. She overdoes it. she steals ideas and claims them for her own, and this almighty-diva will not live in a world with other pop stars who are bigger then she is– so she collabs with them. And then tries to downgrade them in her own videos in a sneaky ass way. Just ask Lady GaGa. WE GET IT, we got it a long time ago and the same old diva schtick is getting old and stale all while you’re still oozing with your own hype. But there is a delicate balance of jelly-to-donut ratio in any good jelly donut. Too much jelly is just disgusting. sitting in that same stale donut… I’ll pass. Bye Bye Beyonce, you can stop whenever you’re ready, I’m tired of seeing you on my television prancing around in the saaaaame ass stilettos, talking bout the same ass shit, flipping that same ass weave, in those same blinging booty shorts. over it.