‘romeo and juliet’ explained by kenyan punk kid djae aroni! :-p

April 11, 2011

Artist statement: “I’m here to write about how craptcular this world is and how amazingly shitty we all are, yes, all of us, each and every single human being out there. Can I describe this blog? Not really, you can read it and analyze it from your point of view and maybe shed some light on what the hell I’m blabbing about. I’m just a bored kid with nothing better to do.” With that said…

“Romeo and Juliet.”
Words by Djae Aroni

Alrighty, so this is considered to be the most romantic-est piece of writing ever done, EVER! I mean, two lovers who died for each other, two people who knew their families would not approve, two people sharing their forbidden love. So disgustingly sweet ain’t it? Well actually, it’s a whole load of bollocks and if you stick around a while longer, I’m pretty much going to tell you why. So, keep an open mind, we don’t do closed mindedness here, and let this little bored bugger take you through a play that was full of shit!

First off, Romeo doesn’t love Juliet, he doesn’t give a shit about her.
Two of ’em meet at the party thingy that Juliet’s family hosts. Now, the only reason Romeo and his buddies showed up to that party was because a little lady that Romeo was really into, but couldn’t score with, was going to be there; Romeo showed up to the party ONLY because of her, his buddies on the other hand wanted him to go so that he could get his mind off her, they only found out she would be there pretty late. Thing is, she didn’t feel the same way about him, he had been rejected enough times (she was one of those chicks that was meant to main pure for life, and she also thought Romeo was an ugly git!). So, from these facts we can decipher that Romeo was on the re-bound, and that’s where poor little ‘Julie’ comes in; she was the re-bound girl, I bet you never thought of that, haah!!

Okay, so they made out on the first day the met each-other, they weren’t on a date or nothin’, they had NO IDEA WHAT-SO-EVER who the other person was, they just did it. So if we were to consider the era they were in and the kind of morals/virtues they had, that kinda counts as a one-night stand. Juliet was a slut… sluts are cool.
I think amidst all this amazingly romantic stuff we should acknowledge that both Romeo and Juliet were teenagers; yes, the most romantic love story in the entire universe is based on the feelings of two adolescent teens… Let’s ponder on that a bit; ol’ Romeo was 17 and Juliet had just turned 14, not a lot of experience nor brains on either of them. Juliet obviously had no idea what the hell was going on, she’d prob just found her first hint of pubic hair the other day (yes, I know, that’s disgusting, my apologies).

If we think about it, it wasn’t really love, more of lust (that means they just wanted to bang each other, which they did do eventually) They were teenagers, their hormones were raging, things were happening to their bodies, Romeo woke up with morning wood everyday and had no idea what to do with it. In short, they were horny little buggers that wanted nothing more than a good shagging from each other!

In the end, thank goodness for the end, the two of ’em end up committing suicide for various retarded reasons that only they, and other retarded people, can begin to understand. Apparently, “they loved each-other”. I honestly think Shakespeare got to a point where he was painfully bored of writing and figured he’d might as well just end the damn thing… I don’t have any more points to emphasize on so i’m just going to stop writing at this point…. Yeah.

In my opinion, it was a pretty fucked up play, plain and simple. You know the way two teenagers so that they’re in love and everyone’s like “no-no, that’s the hormones kicking in, you’ll get over it, nothing special, blah, blah, blah”, well why doesn’t any of that shit apply to Romeo and Juliet?! That’s fucking hypocritical man, we don’t do hypocrisy over here! Why the fuck should we have to make an exception for them?! Well fuck em both, whiney rich kids. This was definitely NOT Shakespeare’s best piece, he’s got stuff that’s waaaay better than this crap and this is def not the most romantic piece to ever be written.