Gossip & ‘Gasms: How To Have Your Hottest Hot Girl Summer Yet

Welcome to Gossip & ‘Gasms, the sex column where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the mind-blowingly orgasmic. I’m Ashley Cobb, your resident sexpert, storyteller, and homegirl who will overshare so you don’t have to. Think of this as your group chat’s spicy cousin—the one who keeps it real, spills the juiciest stories (including my own), and always drops some game along the way.

We’re diving into sex, love, and pleasure from a Black woman’s perspective—unfiltered, unapologetic, and full of ‘aha!’ (and ohhh yes!) moments. Expect a mix of personal confessions, dating chaos, and pleasure-centered wisdom—all served with a side of real talk and receipts. Whether you’re here for the tea, the tips, or just to reassure yourself that you’re not the only one with a wild story, Gossip & ‘Gasms is your go-to spot. So get comfy—because things are about to get real juicy.

You already know summer has arrived the minute you hear “Summertime” by Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff playing in the background—ain’t nothing like that classic vibe to let you know it’s time to slide into your best warm-weather self. Summer is the season that gives you permission to let loose, whether you’re headed to a cookout, taking a spontaneous trip to the beach, or gearing up for your family reunion. But let’s talk about the real highlight of summer: Hot Girl Summer. It’s about owning your sexy, having a blast, and doing it all with the kind of confidence that makes everyone around you stop and take notice. It’s about knowing who you are, loving yourself fiercely, and staying true to your peace.

Now, look, I know you’re probably out here living your best life—single, ready to mingle, or just vibing in your own lane—but this summer’s different. It’s about doing you. If you’ve ever caught yourself wishing for a hotter, more liberated summer, honey, now’s the time to make it happen. Grab a drink, get comfy, and let me tell you how to have the most unforgettable, sexy as hell Hot Girl Summer.

Start with Self-Love—Because Confidence is Everything

Listen, before you start swiping on dating apps or throwing on your cutest sundress, we need to talk about the foundation: self-care. You can’t walk into the summer season expecting to feel like a 10 if you haven’t been treating yourself like one. I learned that the hard way after a few summers of chasing validation in all the wrong places. Hot Girl Summer starts with YOU—so book that spa day, hit up your stylist for a fresh cut or color, or go snag that outfit you’ve been eyeing. I’m not talking about the external stuff being your “make or break”—nah, real confidence comes from within. Treat yourself like the queen you are, and trust, that glow on the inside will radiate like you’ve been kissed by the sun.

When I took time for me—getting my nails done, going for solo walks, taking mental health days—it was like the world started noticing the confidence I had built within. And the glow? Unstoppable. Once I felt it from within, I was a force to be reckoned with on the outside too. That’s the kind of energy I want you to step into this summer.

Protection First, Always

Let’s be real. Hot Girl Summer is about fun, but baby, it’s also about being responsible. Whether you’re out here making out at a party, rolling in the sheets, or having some late-night fun, protection should be at the top of your list. Condoms, birth control, PrEP—you name it, use it. Safety isn’t just sexy, it’s necessary. I’ll never forget a friend of mine who had a wild summer, only to end up dealing with an unexpected situation that could’ve been avoided. No one wants that drama. Your health matters, and just like you wouldn’t leave the house without your lip gloss, don’t leave the house without protection.

And this isn’t just for the singles—if you’re playing in the multiple-partner pool, even more reason to stay tested. I’m out here having fun, but I make sure to keep my health in check, and you should too. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you can’t enjoy your Hot Girl Summer if you’re not taking care of yourself first.

Boundaries: Set ‘Em, Own ‘Em

You know what I’ve learned the hard way? The importance of boundaries. Hot Girl Summer is not the time for second-guessing yourself or letting anyone cross your lines. I’ve been there—caught up in the moment, letting my feelings cloud my better judgment, but guess what? Boundaries aren’t just cute; they’re necessary. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to say no. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your peace.

A few years ago,  I dated a guy who definitely tried to push my limits. One night, I had to put my foot down and let him know I wasn’t going to just be okay with anything that didn’t feel comfortable. It wasn’t cute, it wasn’t fun, but it was necessary. After that? I felt like a damn superhero—I was in control, and I didn’t let anyone move me from my boundaries. The right people will respect that—and if they don’t, chuck them the duecs.

Be Open-Minded—Explore, Experiment, Have Fun

Hot Girl Summer is also about exploration. It’s about trying new things—whether that’s taking a road trip with your girls, trying out a new kink in the bedroom, or dating outside your usual “type.” Summer is the perfect time to test the waters and see what feels good. I remember my first real experiment with something new—it was so liberating. I was stepping out of my comfort zone in a way that let me discover sides of myself I didn’t know existed.

And let me tell you, that kind of exploration? It’s hot as hell. But always remember—the key to enjoying any new adventure is consent. If it doesn’t feel right, speak up. If someone isn’t respecting your boundaries, it’s a “no” from me, fam. But when it’s a “hell yes,” girl, that’s when you really start having fun.

Date Like It’s Your New Full-Time Job

You’re single, the sun’s shining, and the world’s your oyster—why not dive in and see what’s out there? But here’s the tea: Don’t approach dating like you’re searching for your soulmate in July. I did that once, and let me tell you, I was ready to settle after a few good dates when I wasn’t even sure I wanted anything serious. Date with intention, not desperation. The summer’s supposed to be fun, so flirt, laugh, vibe with people you meet, and just enjoy the butterflies.

Last summer, I went on this wild, impromptu date with a guy I met a few weeks before—took a spontaneous trip to Miami.  We had zero expectations, and it turned into one of the best vacations I’ve had in a long time—no strings, just laughs, good food, and the freedom to be me. That’s the beauty of Hot Girl Summer: you get to meet new people without the pressure of turning every fling into a relationship.

Be Honest About What You Want (No, Seriously)

Hot Girl Summer is all about owning your truth. Don’t let anyone pressure you into something you’re not feeling. Want to keep things casual? Go for it. Looking for something deeper? Let people know. I’ve had my fair share of summer flings, and there’s nothing better than being upfront about what you’re looking for. When you’re honest with yourself—and with others—there’s no shame in whatever direction things go.

There’s no room for shame in Hot Girl Summer. It’s your season to do what you want, and trust me, people will respect you more when you speak your truth.

At the end of the day, Hot Girl Summer is about having fun. The late-night ice cream runs, the beach days, the spontaneous dates. It’s about laughing so hard you almost choke, meeting new people, and making memories that will have you smiling until next summer. But remember: while you’re out here doing your thing, make sure you’re doing it for you. Prioritize your health, your boundaries, and your happiness. This is your time to shine, unapologetically.

So go ahead, live your best life, stay safe, and make this Hot Girl Summer your hottest yet.