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Radical Self CareSex & Gender

fat girl sex: f*cking in the time of ‘rona

March 25, 2020
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Fat Girl Sex is a regular sex column devoted to the celebration of the sexual empowerment of women, body and sex positivity, featuring personal meandering about all the nasty things we do in the dark

I am of two minds during the COVID-19 quarantine; horny as fuck or utterly sex-less. I am both turned on by the prospect of us spiraling down into the next level in the pandemic apocalypse or too anxious to fixate over anything other than our impending doom. There’s little in-between.

But in the age of social distancing, self-quarantines, and isolation, is it possible to enjoy orgasms when we can’t touch each other? Not only is it possible, but orgasming is actually a great self-care tool that can boost your mood, help you relax, and be better able to take on the “new normal”.

When you orgasms, your brain releases both oxytocin, and dopamine. Two of the most feel-good hormones our bodies produce. In the case of dopamine, which is formed in the ventral tegmental area of the brain and is released into other parts, like the prefrontal cortex, we experience a surge to pleasure, which is a huge factor in making sex so enjoyable for many. “Some refer to dopamine as a ‘pleasure’ chemical – though research has shown it offers us much more than just a good time. It’s really more of a learning chemical, helping to take notice of rewards like food and sex, and figure out how to get more of them,” explained cognitive psychologist Kayt Sukel.

Additionally, orgasms are well-known stress and pain relievers. Carol Rinkleib Ellison’s 2000 study, which included interviews with 2,632 women between the ages of 23 and 90, round that of those 2,632 women, 39 percent said that they used masturbation to relax. According to sexologist Beverly Whipple, who points to this being due to the oxytocin “released from nerve cells in the hypothalamus (a region of the brain) into the bloodstream” in her book “The Orgasms Answer Guide.”

Where does this factor into the COVID-19 pandemic? Well, it suggests that now is a great time to use orgasms as a stress-reliever and over-all mood booster. How can you do that safely? Well, there are a couple of ways, friends, but we can’t in good conscience recommend “traditional” sex as the first go-to.

COVID-19 dangerous for several reasons, but namely in its symptomless manifestations in many people, particularly young and healthy people. That means you may have already been infected with the virus and unaware of that fact. If you’re not at least quarantining yourself to your home, you risk spreading COVID-19 to someone who can potentially become very ill, even die.

The bottom line is that you should not be leaving your house for sex in the upcoming few weeks. And others should not be leaving theirs to come to yours. It’s just too dangerous.

During this pandemic, self-love is going to be the safest way to enjoy orgasms. Might we suggest a little phone sex if you happen to be isolated from your boo?

Phone sex can totally be hot. Vintage, I know. But moaning in each other’s ears and fantasizing about wild shit is definitely stimulating. Between voice and video calls and trading crotch shots in the DMs, you can make do. More than that, you can still get off and keep everyone in your community safe while you do it.

With that in mind and if masturbation can’t hold you over, it’s okay—but not great—to have sex with someone already sharing living quarters with you, especially if you’ve already been quarantined with them for 14 or more days.

So, here’s the nitty-gritty about COVID-19 transmissions is that, so far, the virus has been found in feces from people who are infected. COVID-19 has yet to be found in semen or vaginal fluid, however. It is also believed by the New York City Health Department  that other strains of coronaviruses do not efficiently transmit through sex.

While you technically can have sex during the quarantine, please be advised that kissing can EASILY pass COVID-19.

Rimming / ass-eating might also spread COVID-19, so maybe skip it.

Condoms, as always, can be helpful in protecting you from contracting unwanted viruses, but they are not a sure-fire method.

Lastly, hygiene during sexy times is more important than it’s ever been. Be sure to sanitize any toys and equipment before and after use.

For more information about healthy sex practices during the COVID-19 pandemic, check out these helpful guidelines from the New York City Health Department, here.

Stay safe, family.