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HealthSex & Gender

who do i have to fight for gel-form birth control?

May 6, 2019

Ah, science. So wonderful are its marvels. So useful are its advances, unless, of course, you’re a person with a uterus. You would think that ground zero for all human-making activity would feel like a blessing to carry but the reality is just blood-curling hell. With all that going on, Gizmodo reported that clinical trials are about to start on male birth control that comes in the form of a gel that can be rubbed on the back and shoulders every night. Let me just say that any attempt to lessen the burden of birth control placed on uterus owners is progress in my eyes. That said, y’all mind if I scream?

You’re telling me that we have to take hormone altering pills and/or shots on a schedule or insert fucking wishbones up our crowning glories or get an injection, apply patches and damn near sacrifice our firstborns to mother GAIA just to not procreate and men — after having just a condom to worry about — get a gel that can also be factored into foreplay? The gel is a progesterone compound combined with testosterone in a formula where the progesterone lowers sperm count and the testosterone maintains sex drive and other functions because God forbid. Is anyone even fighting the fact that the world is designed, inch by cursed inch, for men?

Christina Wang, one of the investigators in the study, told Gizmodo that they have been working at the formula since 2009 and have since held small human studies to balance out the hormonal effects. “We’ve had over 200 men exposed to the medication, and we’ve never had any serious adverse events but we will be monitoring everything very closely.” Feminist icon, Dr. Christina Yang would never. Although, I will give props to Wang as a woman in science who has dedicated a decade to this. I hope the next decade will be dedicated to a chocolate bar that eliminates cramps, clears skin and sneaks the egg out calmly and cleanly in the middle of the night without my noticing. If she could get on that, we would all be eternally grateful.