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Race

MEET THE RACHEL DOLEZAL OF WHITE COUPLES

January 23, 2019
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Lord, have mercy.

If you’ve watched any recent shows about extreme plastic surgery, there’s a great chance that you’ve seen German ‘model’ Martina Big before. Known for her gigantic bust size and chocolate paint job, Martina is addicted to plastic surgery and browning her skin. Now, the infamous German claims she is “transitioning” into a Black woman using tanning injections. For real. And she’s not doing it alone. Oh, no, Martina Big and her husband Michael Eurwen now both identify as Black — like that’s an option available to them. Now full of tanning injections, their doctors claim that if they have kids, those children will actually be born Black…

Nevermind that Blackness has quite a bit to do with genetics, the couple insists that their cosmetic alterations will be inherited.

When pressed by This Morning’s host Holly Willoughby, Big confirmed that giving birth to Black children is the plan, according to her doctors. “Yep, they said they will be Black. We have also discussed about breastfeeding and if it is safe for me to have a baby,” Martina responded.

Will they love the inevitably white child once it’s born?

“Of course, it will be a mix of me and Micheal,” Martina said, “But I’m pretty sure it will be Black, but if it is milk chocolate or a little bit lighter it doesn’t matter.”

If it is “milk chocolate,” oh god.

“I can clearly feel that I am Black – but it’s hard to find the right words to describe it,” shared Martina, who went to Kenya in order to be “baptized” as a real African woman. Because that’s a thing.

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