being bisexual means everyone secretly thinking you’re gay until they decide you’re straight

Typically, I don’t come out as bisexual.

It confuses people. And people don’t like to be confused. They like to know exactly what you like down to the shape of your partner’s genitals. Because ability makes folks nervous, y’hear? To be honest, I’m even bored by my own cishet bisexual tears to the point that I daren’t mention the out of place experience I’ve had as someone who isn’t heterosexual in our community. We got real problems. Black trans women are being slaughtered, exclusively it seems by cismen, all over this country. Their lives treated with as little dignity in death as they were in life. As for the gay and queer parents whose families are threatened politically by the Trump Administration’s policies on adoption and other legal benefits hetero married couples.

The “woo is me” pity party over not feeling celebrated enough in the community takes a backseat to the very real violence we all face, in my opinion. And putting us first is more important to me than putting me first.

Being black and queer is already full of its own marginalizing BS within the larger LGBTQ+ community. all I want to know is, why are we still struggling to conceptualize and accept a reality where a person is EQUALLY attracted to all genders and those without?

Bisexual men aren’t secretly gay and bisexual women are secretly straight. Who I’m dating at any given moment isn’t another point towards one very binary type of sexuality. So, do everyone a favor and allow your friends—and yourself—the freedom of fluidity. Don’t make others feel as though they have to perform their gayness in order for their sexuality to be respected, and not the butt of jokes.