op-ed: dear kid cudi, you have nothing to be ashamed of (tw: suicidal thoughts)

October 5, 2016

Dear Cudi,

I woke up early this morning. Like earlier than usual. Why? I’m not sure. I get on Facebook because I couldn’t go back to sleep. I saw one of my Facebook friends tagged me in a post written by you. When I read the post I understood why I was tagged.

The post you wrote literally bought me to tears. I understand where you’re coming from. I’m sorry you feel you’ve let people down and that you’re feeling ashamed. I’m sorry you have been dealing with this illness for so long. I know it can feel frustrating that you haven’t found the light at the end of the tunnel yet (I say yet because one day you will).

I want you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed of…NOTHING at all. Depression and Anxiety can be a nightmare. It can literally swallow you whole to the point you feel no way out. I also know how judgemental people can be when it comes to mental illness. Some people make you feel like you don’t even want to even bring up your struggles. Some try to make you feel weak or ashamed when you should feel neither. You’re sick or weak.

By Jasmin Pierre*, AFROPUNK contributor

I just wanted to let you know that I’m proud of you! So very proud! What you wrote was not easy. Especially now when you’re in so much pain. In spite of that pain you still spoke up. You realize that right now the pain is too much and you can’t deal with it on your own. That takes strength and courage. You’re a fighter!

A lot of men feel like they aren’t suppose to feel emotional or go through this kind of pain. Many men are taught from a young age to always be a man and don’t cry or show any weaknesses. That has made many men suppress their thoughts and feelings. This is why men die at the hands of suicide at such higher rates than women. Many don’t know how to ask for help in situations such as this. Never feel ashamed because you asked for help.

Cudi you’re allowed to go through things. You’re allowed to not be ok right now. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. You haven’t let any of us down. You’re actually a hero in my eyes. The fact that you spoke up has more than likely saved some lives. Just like I mentioned earlier many men go through this in silence. The fact that you used your platform to address you’re getting help will make others want to get help as well. Again you should feel proud and not ashamed.
I want to let you know one more thing before I close out this letter. It was not long ago that I wanted to die too. That I felt ashamed just like you. Now I know that my illness was never my weakness. Going through major depression and mild anxiety never made me weak. 2007 -2014 I had moments I wanted to die. I also had a close call with death during those years. Now in 2016 i’m telling people why they should keep living. Why they should never give up. Your recovery is possible. You’re going to make it! I’m rooting for you and I’m so very proud of you. I know this letter may never reach you but I mean every word I’ve said.

With all the love In my heart, Jasmin

*Jasmin Pierre is a 27-year-old mental health activist and author of the new self help book “A Fight Worth Finishing”. She is from New Orleans, Louisiana. Jasmin is constantly fighting for the rights of those suffering from major depressive disorder. She inspires to become a life coach and continue writing to encourage others to never give up.

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