you can’t demand that everyone mourn abusers

Like, tap-dancing on people’s graves isn’t exactly the nicest thing to do. Noted. That’s somebody’s baby. Now, it’s cool if XXXTentacion’s murder at age 20 doesn’t put a smug smile on your face, but can we please not demand that everyone deify someone who, by many accounts, violated and abused women because they made a handful of catchy songs?

Pretty much every black male artist in hip-hop and other men in the music industry have been making the rounds eulogizing XXX as someone who was tremendously talented despite his documented history of ultra-violence towards women. Even ‘woke’ male artists like J. Cole expressed their sadness at the tragedy, relying heavily on the potential for a more positive future than the life XXX actually led while he was here. “Nobody deserves to die!” Debatable, at best.

This got me fucked up. RIP X. Enormous talent and limitless potential and a strong desire to be a better person. God bless his family, friends and fans.

— J. Cole (@JColeNC) June 18, 2018

Streets ain’t got no love for nobody… RIP XXX

— FUTURE/FREEBANDZ (@1future) June 19, 2018

My heart dropped when I heard about @xxxtentacion, I feel like we only got to see a glimpse of his artistry. I didn’t know him personally but I respect how passionate he was about his music and message. Nobody deserves this kind of ending. gone too soon, damn! RIP

— Sean Don (@BigSean) June 19, 2018

This is the thing: I don’t know if anyone should be allowed to say who lives or who dies. What I do know is that people are not obligated to mourn the death of a serial domestic abuser. Sorry. There’s literally a video of XXX punching a black woman in the head for what looks like, shits and giggles. I also know that XXX bragged about attacking a gay man. I also know that XXX was anti-feminist whose ex-girlfriend has accused him of raping her. Not to mention the pregnant woman he choked out, abused, and falsely imprisoned.

Does that mean his life was worthless and his mother deserves to be burying him at age 20? No one can be the judge.

xxxtentacion talking about trying to kill a man he thought was gay… rest in peace tho!! pic.twitter.com/nwgYN2ZkZk

— alfie (@alfiewilsonn) June 19, 2018